While reading an article on Time.com called The Myth About Boys I was surprised by statistics I read regarding education with boys and girls. In a very small nutshell, it says that girls generally do better in school than boys. Now, that's a REALLY general statement, so I would deffinately reccomend reading the article. It's four pages of words, but it's not a terrible read. I tried to get through four pages of "How to Leave Iraq"... didn't happen. Ah, the small attention spans of teenagers. At any rate, here's one quote that disturbed me:

The standardized NAEP test, known as the nation's report card, indicates that by
the senior year of high school, boys have fallen nearly 20 points behind their
female peers. That's bad, not because girls are ahead but because too many boys
are leaving school functionally illiterate. Pollack told me of one study that
found even the sons of college-educated parents had a 1 in 4 chance of leaving
school without becoming proficient readers.

Ouch. My soul. How in the world do you get through high school without being
able to read!? I see that as a failure on the teacher's part, mostly. I understand that not every student can become a CEO or a doctor or a lawer. Some people just aren't academically inclined (which is intirely different that academically incompetant; there was quite the fight about that on the reality show Beauty and the Geek. I just made a B&TG reference. I might just be a nerd.).

At any rate, not becoming a CEO is far different than not being able to read proficiently! Good Lord in Heaven, reading proficiently doesn't mean you have to go through "Crime and Punishment" and be able to do a 100-page synopsis on plot, characters, and the symbology of cheese in the story. I should research what the standards are. I do know, though, that they're reasonable.

That's so frustrating to me, to be trapped in a school system in which roughly 25% of graduates can't friggin read! How are these people supposed to get good jobs? God help them if they start a family and still earn minimum wage because of the flaws in the education system!

Though I must pause for a moment to say something positive about our education system and be a little less judgemental and a little more understanding. Schools do produce CEOs, doctors, and lawers. They do provide a quality education for those who really want it. I've been blessed enough to be in advanced classes at my high school. I've really learned a lot from those. Also, my high school's drama program is really good. We're pretty poor, not gonna lie, but we still do five major productions a year, and two productions of student-directed one act plays. The high school one town over, though, isn't as lucky. Though they have more money than us, they only put on three productions a year. That's it. Sad, really.

I sympathize with the delima teachers face while teaching general classes. I was in a US History class this year, opting out of the Advanced Placement US History becuase of its reputation for destroying GPA's (unless, of course, you're a history nut or have a history teacher for a parent, neither of which apply to me). I was bored out of my MIND. We literally wrote down what the teacher said, word for word, and then did worksheets. WORKSHEETS! Anyway, there were still kids who were struggling with the class.

So the challeng is: How do you provide a class that caters to all levels of -I hesitate to say intellegence- academic-type-stuff that is challenging to students who are easily bored, but still not have a class that is impossible for a not-so-academic-type to learn something from because they don't grasp it.

Maybe someone'll figure it out.

Love, Sinatra Style

Ah, Sinatra. Perhaps the best male voice I've ever heard. Micheal Buble is a close second, but he still just can't rival Frank.

Am I too young to appriciate Sinatra? Maybe. I strongly prefer the more up-tempo songs of his, though that taste applies to other music too. It's nastalgic, Sinatra's music. Can one feel nastalgic about an era in which she never lived? Maybe.

So many maybe's in this post. I must admit, his smooth voice is distracting. It's hard to write about anything with substance when "I Get a Kick Out of You" is being crooned to me through the computer speakers.

Mmmmm.

Ouch.

List of things that hurt:
1. My eyeballs.
2. My head.
3. My stomach.
4. My leg. But only because it fell asleep. Should be better soon.

What normally is a quiet office has become far too much stimulation for my poor head. The light is making me nauseous, the TV is distracting and loud (even though I can barely hear it), and the music I was playing, which normally relaxes me, only made things worse. So I turned it off.

I will now be accepting pity and backrubs. Only those two things- wait, no, I'm also accepting chocolate- only those three things will make me feel better. Wait. Sleep would be nice too... those FOUR things!

Hidden Secrets (OOOOOOH!)

Today, my distraction of choice from the mundane of my job has been:

ADVICE COLLUMS!!!

I found one by Dear Mrs Web, a deliciously vanilla woman who, according to one of her posts, has always had a housekeeper. She's SO conservative. Read this:

"Dear Mrs. Web,
My husband has Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler magazines in our house. I recently found our twelve-year-old son with one in his room. I took it away from him. But I am not sure about how to handle this. I really don't think they are good for him. My husband thinks I am overreacting.

"Not wanting your son to play "inspector" with the detailed pictures of naked women sounds pretty normal to me. Your husband is already an "inspector", though. Sounds like a clash of values to me. Since the porn is already in the house the both of you will need to decide at what age it is appropriate material for your son. By the way, I have never met anyone whose personality or character was improved by porn."

My advice: Hide your damn porn better. Duh.

I should write an advice collum.

Gah!

Gah. Just... GAH! I'm so pissed off right now. Well, actually, it's sort of fading away. BUT! I was really pissed like ten minutes ago (my wrath is short-lived, at best), so I'm going to blog about it!

Things that pissed me off today / are currently pissing me off:
1. The second I walked in my house, my mom started bitching at me.
2. Because of said bitching I didn't have time to cook anything for lunch, so:
3. Waited in line for 20 minutes for really crappy and rediculously overpriced Long John Silvers.
4. Got stuck behind someone going 28 mph. The speed limit is 30! 30!!! Will rant more about this further down the page.
5. I have to pee.
6. I'm not currently in bed with Jon (what a delicate way to put that! kudos, me).
7. I don't have any tampons left.
8. I have four hours and fifteen minutes left of work and no actual work to keep my busy.

Okay, while I'm on a ranting rant, let me elaborate more on why exactly number 4 got me so upset. It's just a pet peeve of mine. So, okay, maybe I have a little, tiny speeding problem that's accompanied by an even smaller amount of road rage. That is besides the point. Why in the world are people compelled to go under the speed limit! They aren't going to get pulled over for doing 30 in a 30. Crap, they won't even get pulled over for doing 35. That's all I ask people, is just going the speed limit. 35 is nice, but I can deal with 30.

Wow.

I'm not mad any more. Like, at all. Well, that sort of kills the whole mood of this post.

:)

Hello, world!

As I listen to the B-52's, a startling question swirled around in my brain. What does it take to be remembered? I'm not talking about being remembered for centuries: I'm no Caligula (so Poseidon is safe... FOR NOW!!!). I'm not even talking about being remembered for decades, like the B-52's. I'm just talking short-term. More specifically talking about auditioning for theater conservatories this fall.

I think I need to learn how to be charming. When out of my element, or when I don't know anyone, I'm really rather shy and not really me. Which is okay; everyone is different around their friends and in private than in the public eye of, say, a new school. Then again, theatre is my element, so I think I'll do okay there. I just need to not be shy. Easier said than done.

The thing is, I audition in November for DePaul, and they don't decide until February. So, being remembered is a big deal. I figure it's about the same for other schools, too.

Ah, such is life. Leave an impression. Have a clean car. Be prepared to answer hard questions. Ask hard questions.

Oh, and don't forget to tie your shoes.

My Nerd-dom is Official

Like this cat, I learned how to play Dungeons & Dragons.

Oh yeah, my nerdiness is vast! First a gaiaonline account, then getting a little too into Risk (mongooooooolia!), and now D&D. I'm an elf Druid... a BEEFY elf druid... who wears leather... and carries a spiked chain (for bitches... at a distance!)... and rides a bear.

I named my bear THE BEARINATOR!!! Orcs, prepare to be BEARINATED!!!

In other news:
I'm eatin' some cake!

Today's my birthday! I'm now seventeen, which is actually just like being 16, except it's a different number.

The end!

Good morning, world.

I'm one tired receptionist this morning. I saw the midnight premier of the new Harry Potter movie last night, and didn't get home until about three in the morning, which made waking up at 8:00 not so much fun. Then again, when is getting up early ever fun?

Never, that's when.

School is sneaking up on me. I've started to recieve e-mails from our school's Drama guy (he teaches the upper-level drama classes and directs all the plays) asking about what plays we should do, blah-de-blah. Being President rocks. The fact that I'm even being asked my opinion is pretty cool, plus the fact that it actually has weight! Wonderful. It's the same with choir, except I'm not pres, I'm treasurer... or am I secretary? Crap, why don't I remember!? Plus, I'm tenor section leader next year. Point being, I have a leadership position. And *hopefully* I'll be Forensics president next year. Elections for that aren't until January, so I'm trying not to think (which translates into: trying not to worry) about it until then. I think I have a good chance for it, since I was Vice Pres last year and assistant tournament director. Plus, I'm really good at speeches. And I bring cupcakes. That's how I got VP... cupcakes for the win.

Also, there's German Club. I can't imagine I won't get reelected for President. That's one thing I'm openly proud of myself for. Before I was pres last year G-Club didn't do anything. Really. Nothing. This year, though, with the help of Frau Frierson and my German 3/4/5 class (they were combined into one... still, it was only 5 people.), I planned a fundraiser, a field trip, a few potlucks, and a charity drive. Plus, I already have written plans for next year, which will make my job way easier.

I'm excited for all these opportunities for leadership in my school. Not only will they help me get into college - my gpa is average, about 3.0, which is not competative, so I need all the help I can get - but I really think I'll learn from them. I know, that's cheesy, but I'm serious! :)

I just hope I can be an effective leader. I've already decided that I'm going to lead by doing. In drama, sometimes it works out that the person who bitches loud enough is the one who gets what they want, especially when there are a lot of student directors running around double casting people. I'm not okay with that, though. When I was student directing, I tried really hard not to do that. My assistant director went psycho bitchy and now everyone hates her. They nazi-salute her. I kid you not. It's sad.

Back to the point, though! The leaders I've always admired most are those who have the oomph to back it up. For example, in choir, one of the girls who was co-president occasionally taught the class (our teacher is a crazy. She's really sweet, has a great heart... but she a crazy!). I listened to her because I knew she was good at singing and music. This year she signed with Manhattan School of Music. Oomph.

I want to be like that. I can't exactly help kids out with lines or forensics things or things in class if I'm not good enough to back it up. I can't critique a performance unless I'm giving a good one. Last year, for example, I qualified for State in forensics at the last tournament, which was a MAJOR relief. I knew that if I didn't qualify, I wouldn't have a chance for president. But I did, so I do, which makes this forensicator very happy.

I'm getting sort of good at high school politics. I've learned what gets you ahead, and what doesn't. What I've found is simple: if you're skilled, talented, and willing to sacrifice, you can get what you want. I've learned how to use influence to subtley snuff out the competition, though I haven't done that, and don't think I want to. Goes back to the leading by doing thing. I've also learned how to use cupcakes to my advantage! :)

Right now I have nothing but bright prospects and hope for the future. I really hope I can make things work out. Right now, it's looking like I can. That's a good feeling.

Ah, to be young. ... .... .... ? ... ... ... :)

Ghosts, gouls, and gimmicks. That's pretty much Unsolved Mysteries right there. Not that I'm actually watching Unsolved Mysteries. I am watching a show on the Discovery Channell about ghosts, though. It's silly. The eerie music and wind-through-the-trees sounds make me think of a bad horror movie.

Much like one I'm going to start making tonight! Weeeee! Notice the smooth transition between subjects. That right there is what we call literary genius.

Except, not really.

Anyway, plans are underway for a new movie. (If you'd like to see the old ones, do a YouTube search for the user amyandamanda09. "Repose" and "Coffee" are my favorites. Also "Torn Over Pie" is a good short film if you need a laugh.) It's called "Tilly, I'm Coming Up the Stairs." The whole thing is a suspence movie: stair by stair, Grant is calling out to me, "Tilly-" that's my character's name "- I'm coming up the stairs. I'm on the first step, Tilly. I'm on the second step. Tilly, I'm coming up the third step..." and so on and so forth. He finally reaches my bedroom and says "Tilly, I'm IN YOUR ROOM!" So I freak out and turn on the light, and it's just Grant standing up there. So I'm like "Grant, what are you doing here?" And he just looks at me, so I get irritated, and kick him out of my room, and that's the end. It's wonderfully anticlimactic.

I thought the ending should go like this: a GIANT PURPLE ELEPHANT is in my room! Ah! So I turn in to a mouse and scare it off. And it's all in CLAYMATION!!! Woah! Woah! Woah! Trippy.

But my wonderful friends who actually film and edit this stuff thought that that was dumb. So, we're back to the funny anticlimactic ending. Such is my life. :)

Notice, world, that I never once mentioned Jon or my sad teenage love life in this post. Until now, that is. Dang. Things have smoothed out. We had a wonderfully cheesy moment last night. I was a little more than half-asleep in his arms, and he was murmuring about how he loved me, blah-de-blah. Despite the fact that I was drifting in and out of it, it was really nice. I feel safe with him, it's just... right. God, he's such a romantic freak. I'll never admit that it makes me really, really happy. What a freak.

Two more days 'til my DePaul visit! Weeeeee! I need to gather maps and driving directions to get where we need to go. Chinatown! Not gonna lie, I want to go shopping in CT as much as I want to do the DePaul tour. Ah, big cities. What don't they have? I hope Chicago has a Little Italy... I need canoles. Mmmmm.

Well, world, I'm off to travel random Chicago travel websites, trying to find maps and fun things to do. I should see if they still have tickets for "Between Barack and a Hard Place," a really funny looking political comedy. My mom's not much into politics, so I don't know if we'll go, since it's just her and I on the trip. Either way, I'm good to go.

Das Ende!

Hey, world.



Selfish. That's what I've been. I'm talking, of course, about the whole college/jon thing. I've asked him to make a descision that a year ago I wasn't even thinking of. He's about 4-5 months younger than me, which isn't that much, so I always forget that as far as school goes, he's a whole year behind me. He hasn't had the experiences that I have. This year in school really helped shape me as a person, what with all the leadership crap I did, and he hasn't had the chance to go through that yet. But I'm asking him to give up his future for me and come to Chicago so I can have a happy ending?

The thing is, Jon has a really strong family life. He has something in Leavenworth. I always forget about that too, and jump right into my mini-speech about why LV sucks, there's nothing here, blah-blah-blah. The thing is, I don't so much. And -brace yourself, this is sappy- he sort of feels like home to me. I'm safe and happy with him. With my mom I worry too much about what she's doing, when she'll be home, if she'll be sober when she gets there... what kills me is that I worry too much. It's really not as bad as I worry about, yet somehow once in a while seems like all the time to me. Weird. Jon hasn't ever wanted to leave, and I have... a lot. Another principle difference between the two of us.

I'm going to have to talk to him about it... fix my mess. I get too caught up in my own plans. I didn't even think to ask if he even wanted to be a part of them.

Le sigh. Such is the drama and woe of my life.

Speaking of drama, I did a little more research on the theatre school I want to go to, DePaul. You have to be invited to continue into your second year. While I have no doubt that if I work hard and stay focused (easier said than done), I can continue there. They're serious about acting, though. You don't just get in 'cause you're rich, which is deffinately a good thing for me. God, I hope I'm good enough to get in. I'm going to have to prepare my butt off for this audition.

It's scary, I don't have a "plan-b" that I'm happy with. I really don't want to go anywhere else. That's probably a bad thing, eh? KU is nice, and so is Emporia. I really don't want to end up a Drama I teacher in some crappy rural school. I need to be in the action, a real part of it, and a crappy rural high school isn't exactly the place to do that.

Shoot, who needs an income when you can be an actor? Food's for squares.

The future is a frightening thing.

Happy 4th of July...?

Hello, world!

Today is the 5th of July. My 4th was quite interesting. Though, I suppose it would have been interesting whether or not it was the 4th of July. The whole Independence Day thing is moot, pretty much.

Jon and I finally just talked about college. I know it's a year away, but I have to make my plans now. With this visit to DePaul coming up, higher education has been a primary subject on my mind. I have all these plans, but Jon has different ones.

Last night was deffinately emotional. Jon moreso than me, which is weird, but tolerable. The primary problem is that he for some reason doesn't believe in himself. That's why he has this lurking feeling that our relationship can't last past when I leave for Chicago next year. I've told him over and over that I want to wait for him, if he'll come with me in another year.

I'm not quite sure exactly how it happened, but I think I convinced him to come to Chicago with me! He said the main reason he wanted to stay in Kansas is because all his family is here, his friends, so on and so forth. This is the first place he's lived in for more than a year (military).

I'm not sure what happened. Looking back, I don't remember quite what was said. Which is why I'm blogging it. I'm trying to get my mind around this. He is going to come with me, right? I'm pretty sure that's what happened.

It's a year away. That's a long time. I see no reason why we wouldn't be together until then, though. I hated before when he'd say he loves me for as long as he can, meaning until I leave. But now there's hope for more of a future. You can't look forward to an end. I have hope for a future that doesn't involve us breaking up at set time. I think now he does too. That's nice. Really nice.

A Weekend of Wonder

Hello, all you.

What a busy weekend I just had! It was deffinately interesting...

Friday:
1. Worked. Blah.
2. Went to AutoZone. Got hit on by an old Mexican guy. Apparently I looked "real nice." Turns out that it would be $138 to buy a new mirror. I ended up just duct-taping it back on my car. Don't hate.
3. Al's pool party. General debauchery. I stayed away from all that. I don't know why, but I just didn't feel like being all loud and party-y. So I hung out downstairs with Garrett and Jessica. I did a tarot reading for Garrett, and Al's mom lent me one of her books on it. I guess she's been reading for years. Who knew? Anyway, I was missing Jon like crazy.

Saturday:
1. Woke up at one in the afternoon. It was wonderful.
2. Got ice cream with Clinton, who helped me duct the mirror back on my car.
3. TRIED to get a group together to see Ratatouille, but alas, no one was available, so I:
4. Sat on Garrett's porch with him. It was actually really nice, since we haven't hung out just the two of us since, well, last summer! He's good company.

Sunday:
1. Again, slept late. Yesssssssssssss.
2. Went to the Keelings'. We caravanned out to the Legends to Books-A-Million so I could get the next book in my ghetto vampire-huntress series. Don't be judgein'! :)
3. Went with Al to Oak Park Mall. Since it was Sunday, everything was closed. We got lost on the way back, but saw a sign that said "Lawrence, next exit." So...
4. Al and I went to Lawrence. We walked up and down Mass. Street, and played guitar on the corner like bums. A really cute, but also really drunk/high, guy sat with us for a while. He hit on me. He had nice teeth, so I didn't mind, but he was SOOOO far gone. Tried to tell us that he was a producer, and I shouldn't go to Chicago for college 'cause nothing happens there. I was just like, okay, dude, you're lucky you're hot.
5. Went to Jericho's and spent the night over there. Slept on the floor with Alek. It was really cute: he woke up in the middle of the night and mumbled "You're okay when you don't talk." I got sleep-alek'd.


Guess what, world? Jon gets back TOMORROW!!!! Weeeeeeee!
God, I'm such a freak. I miss that kid, though.

Well, I suppose I should get back to work. I'm putting the return address on roughly 200 envelopes. By hand. Such is my life. :)

Hearts, amber.